Crikey, Sheila - ***

Bloody hell woman!!!

1986, Australia, Colour, 88 minutes

Directed by Lobo Cluggins. Written by Tingo Malinga

Starring Matty Green, Sharon Ockley

An amusing Aussie comedy about a hapless carpenter with “the dizziest wife in the state”. Oh, that Sheila and the problems she causes Murray. Those problems go from crazy to zany when they decide to buy a rundown outback pub and restore it to its former glory. Lovers of slapstick and pratfalls and impossible-to-overuse catchphrases will love this one.

Watch out for – the installation of the grand staircase, which should have Chaplin crying in his pinebox.

Quote – What else could it be but “Crickey, Sheila”?

Reviewed by R.P. Thunderdunk

Elbows, Knees and Death - **½

You’ll be Lucky to Leave the Theatre With Teeth, Mate

1975, Australia, Colour, 72 minutes

Written and directed by Bruno and Mark Taylor.

Starring Bruno Taylor, Mark Taylor, Laura Taylor

Super low budget martial arts film that makes up for its lack of script, acting, lighting, sets, costumes, continuity, direction, and music with some of the most energetic fight scenes of the 1970s. Outback Martial Arts champion Bruno Taylor and his twin brother Mark star as medieval warriors flung into the future who must rescue a princess (played by their sister) from a metal fortress. In their way are, due to casting restrictions, numerous clones (all of this is explained by narration). What sets this film apart is the absolute ferocity with which Bruno and Mark attack each other. Filmed in sequence, you can actually see the brutal physical toll the filming takes on the hapless stars.

Watch out for – Bruno repeatedly breaking character while holding back tears of rage and shoving a land deed in Mark’s face.

Quote – “Crikes, you bloody bugger, if you’d just filed the dredging forms we wouldn’ta lost mamma’s land.”

Reviewed by R.P. Thunderdunk