The Brays - **

Something for you soul to chew on

1968, USA, Colour, 83 minutes

Director – David Fleishman, Writers – Plodzonki Gertmuller, Sorbrina Trunztana

Starring Kelly Trudeau, Lalzlo Bruno, Frederick von Hansy

An interesting if ultimately wrong-headed rotoscoped animation about a family of pantomime donkeys that return to the slopes of the Andes for a vacation. The songs are unmemorable and chirpy and the “message” about everyone who isn’t a pantomime donkey being a big city or small town phoney will probably be offensive to both children and adults.

The film was dogged by controversy, firstly because of the high number of injuries sustained by actors in the donkey suits falling down mountains, and second because the producers paid rebels who were at that time fighting American troops to act as American extras.

Watch out for – Look in the background as Gregor, the son of the pantomime donkey family, falls sideways onto a jagged rock - you can catch a glimpse of producer Humbert T. Nortis running into the jungle.

Quote – “Look at the little donkey. Don’t you know how to walk on the rocks? Did someone rupture your face, little donkey? You make me sick! Take off that stupid costume! What, you think my rough exterior is a costume? Maybe you’re right! (sobbing)”

Reviewed by R.P. Thunderdunk

Beta 2.0 – ***1/2

You are not ready

2007, US/Canada, Colour, 117 minutes

Acting, writing and directing credits incomplete at time of release

A near bewildering mixture of music, faces and technology, all linked in with a kicking use of neo slang that just begs to be popularised on the internet, pours out of the screen as soon as the film starts rolling. The problem with this is that it is very hard to actually explain to someone what actually happens in the film, you know, does the guy get the girl? Is there a guy or girl? So far as I can piece together once one gets past the wall of cultural memes it seems that a new social order is forming on the streets, made up of disaffected youth and high technology. It is 1917 all over again and the Winter Palace is your middle class existence, and the commies are your children. As the title suggests things don't go quite as planned, but who'd ever know? Evolution versus Revolution?

All I know is that I think I really liked it and will need to buy the DVD to double check.

Great Moment – In Seaworld where the performing whale explodes, a single firework shoots to the sky and unfurls the message "Environmentalism. Lol"

Reviewed by Juan Incognito

Born to Hacky - **

His sacks will never drop. Never.

1995, USA, Colour, 97 minutes

Written and directed by Taylor Chad Hussman

Starring Taylor Chad Hussman, Beverly H’lard, Wang Xian Tang, Pamela Ak

Strictly formulaic tale of high school rebel Eddie Arnett (writer/director/star Hussman) who finds meaning in life when the local rockery is threatened with development. The rockery is home to an endemic breed of newt, the reasearch subject of a comely biology student (Beverly H’lard). Proceeding as these films do, Eddie has to win a hacky sack tournament against the developers disciple, ex-Shaolin Monk ‘Rubber Foot’ Xiuwang, to secure the newt’s survival.

Watch out for – the scene where Eddie completes the fabled “Twelve Point Loosey”. It’s still the subject of furious argument about its authenticity

Quote – “That guy learned to hacky. I was born to hacky.”

Reviewed by R.P. Thunderdunk

Hemp Rope II – **

Better than Hemp Rope I

1988, Canada , Colour, 97 minutes

Directed by Gus Yillomonte. Written by Neal Phillipe

Starring Hudson Smacker, Jane Frelitie, Aaron Whyte

The Hangman is one of my favourite movie villains. Not because he is necessarily a well developed character, or even that scary, but because of the purity of his theme. Not for him magical dream powers to kill children in their dreams, no, he just hangs you. The world needs more believable villains like this. So in some ways it is a pity that Hemp Rope II doesn't deliver on this promise, in fact at some points I almost began to suspect this film was less of a horror and more of a determined effort by the hemp lobby to promote their product. The loving close-ups of the rope fibre, the random 15 minute visit to the rope factory, the grudging admiration of the victims when the noose didn't break all make me suspicious.

Best line – “Feel the smooth suppleness of my rope!”

Reviewed by Juan Incognito